Dissociation

This post isn't formally part of my Personal Demons series, but it does deal with mental health, so I am putting it here.

Oddly, I feel much more vulnerable about discussing dissociation. Though there are a lot of misconceptions about anxiety disorders and mood disorders like depression, the general population has at least some understanding about them. Dissociation, a mental state that can accompany depression and anxiety, is more of a symptom or a coping mechanism of these and other mental illnesses.

Do you ever feel like you are not quite entirely “there”? Like you’re watching someone familiar, in first person, doing things that make sense, but that person is not quite you? That's dissociation. It's a coping mechanism or defense mechanism, a way of detaching from reality when reality gets too hard to handle. It is a bit like switching your mind into autopilot.

I tend to enter a dissociated state when I am intensely stressed for an extended period of time. If we want to extend the autopilot metaphor I used above, being dissociated will get you where you're going, but is a bit like grinding your emotional gears. It takes time and a practice of mindfulness in order to come back into alignment with the self. Usually while I am working on getting back into re-alignment, I am irritable, find it difficult to focus, and I am more prone to depressive episodes.

For me, the best way to avoid dissociation is mindfulness. Making sure to take a few moments to ground myself in my body and breath, to notice my thoughts without allowing them to become my focus, helps tremendously.

Serious note: I am not a mental health professional. If you think or know that you or a loved one is suffering from depression (or anxiety), please know that help is available! We need you here with us.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US): 1-800-273-8255
Psychology Today Therapist Search (US): www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Introducing Self Loathing

Tfw you hate yourself (click through to read).

So self-loathing isn't really a mental health condition the way that anxiety and depression are, but negative self talk, weak self image and low self esteem have all been things I have personally struggled with for... ever? Putting yourself down, being hyper-critical and judgmental of yourself, commemorating every failure and forgetting every success... If this sounds like something you do, too -- I have been there!

But! The great thing about negative self talk is that you can overcome it. First: by practicing compassion and kindness actively towards others. If you make a conscious effort not to let little critical evaluations of others slip into your thinking, you will be surprised at how much kinder you are to yourself, too.

Second: an exercise in two parts that really helped me. The first part is recording my own negative inner monologue, writing down how I put myself down or made myself feel bad. Then, to each negative thought or judgment, a counteracting affirmation. For example, something like "I am lazy" can be met with "It is normal to need rest." Affirmations might feel goofy, but they really help, especially when they are tailored to your own negative inner monologue. Try it!

Serious note: I am not a mental health professional. If you think or know that you or a loved one is suffering from depression (or anxiety), please know that help is available! We need you here with us.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US): 1-800-273-8255
Psychology Today Therapist Search (US): www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Introducing Depression

Depression! (jazz hands) Featuring a cameo from Anxiety. (click through to read)

Many people have a misconception of depression as being just a general feeling of sadness. Sadness is definitely part of the package, but it's not just feeling sad, it's a feeling of despair, of hopelessness. Depression asks, "what's the point of doing anything?" and saps your will to live.

Anxiety and depression are often linked, since anxiety disorders tend to make you frightened of doing anything, and depression basically feeds on your total lack of movement.

Serious note: I am not a mental health professional. If you think or know that you or a loved one is suffering from depression (or anxiety), please know that help is available! We need you here with us.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US): 1-800-273-8255
Psychology Today Therapist Search (US): www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Introducing Anxiety

Catastrophic thinking. Having anxiety means that you are pretty much always prepared for the worst to happen, even when there's nothing wrong. (Click to read through!)

Anxiety is the thing I struggle with the most, but at this point it feels a little like a small, panicked friend that I have to calm down.

Serious note: I am not a mental health professional. If you think or know that you or a loved one is suffering from depression (or anxiety), please know that help is available! We need you here with us.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US): 1-800-273-8255
Psychology Today Therapist Search (US): www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

personal demons

The first visualization of various mental health issues i have struggled with over time: anxiety, depression, dysphoria, and self loathing.

Collectively i refer to these ghostly cartoons as "personal demons."

I try to tackle discussing (sometimes complicated) mental health issues using them as a visual shorthand. Most of these cartoons are about externalizing the negative self talk that they generate in my internal monologue, making them into a dialogue, and hopefully helping others identify and cope with their own mental health struggles.

Serious note: I am not a mental health professional. If you think or know that you or a loved one is suffering from depression (or anxiety), please know that help is available! We need you here with us.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (US): 1-800-273-8255
Psychology Today Therapist Search (US): www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists